what's goin on

Not much has been happening around here lately... Or atleast, nothing too exciting since the last time I wrote.

Ordered our wedding invitations last week - they should be in the first week of June. They're oh-so-cute!!! I can't wait to send them out!!!

Lindsay and I have once again vowed to help each other with each other's weight loss goals. We may be a few thousand miles apart but gosh darnit, we'll do it somehow!!! I found that 3 fat chicks website and made my own tracker (because copying is the best form of flattery)... I will be updating it as much as I can. I started doing Weight Watchers on my own this past Monday. I'm down 5 pounds already! Whoo hoo!! I'd like to be down another 25 by October. Here's to hoping!!!

We're going to St. Louis for a Cardinals game tomorrow... It's Tom's birthday present from me. We're going with Mike & Tracy. All three of them are Cardinal fans... I'm going to root for whoever they're playing. haha Cardinals better lose!!! :) Oh and I'm supposed to go to Lincoln and meet with my 'little sister' Ashley. She's getting married in November and I'm supposed to help her plan it out. Hoping to meet with a florist in Lincoln, too.

Saturday we're going to Indianapolis again... Tom has another interview with a third firm. He talked with the head honcho guy today for a little while. Turns out Tom is 'exactly what they're looking for.' They're going to pay him $300 just to come over and interview! So that's exciting. We're also going to stop by our friends' place for a cookout. That will be nice.

I think Sunday we're not doing anything... but I have to work that night at 10pm. Monday is Mike & Tracy's newest son Bret's baptism in Pana. We won't get home until 2 or 3... and I have to work again that night at 10. That'll suck. *sigh* Oh well. It'll be well worth it. Especially if we end up being the Godparents! :) That would TOTALLY rock our world!!!!

well...

Our weekend was good... Long, but good.

I ended up not taking the test Saturday morning. Yeah, I know... Go ahead and yell. It was a very hard decision to make but it's for the best. Tom was able to make an appointment to meet with the guy that could possibly be his next boss so I figured that that was more important.

We got up at 5am Saturday and made our way to Indy. At 830, when the test was starting, I was crying while driving into town. I was just thinking about how much I had disappointed my Chief and Sergeant and about how I had given up my dream to help Tom reach his. It is what I wanted to do, don't get me wrong. But that doesn't mean that I couldn't be just a little sad about it.

Tom's meeting with the boss-man went well. We'll hopefully find something out the last week of May or so. *sigh* It just stinks that that company has just hired two new people as well... I think that Tom is realizing that looking for a job at graduation time is not a good idea. haha But they really like him - they just have to have room for him. Wish him luck! And maybe say a few too many prayers :)

We had a fun time running around and visiting friends in Indy Saturday night. Maria's surprise party went off without a hitch - she was TOTALLY surprised. It was awesome. ;)

Sunday was another busy day... Up early to drive to Tom's mom's house. We took food to cookout on the grill. It was nice. I found out that she is planning a bridal shower for me for her side of the family - I thought that was super nice. :)

After spending time in Chatsworth we made our way to Lincoln to see my mom. We took her out to First Wok... and my grandparents came unexpectly. But it was nice to see them since I thought they were gone already. We visited with mom for a while after dinner and then came home. It was a loooooooong weekend.

I'm not feeling to well tonight... Very dizzy, my face/body is really warm, I'm really tired, my stomach feels funny, and I keep thinking that I'm going to puke. I haven't had much to eat in the last two days, so that might be it. Lets hope I feel better soon. I do NOT like being sick.

Now I usually do not comment on American Idol very often... but I must say that I was VERY disappointed that Melinda was voted off. It should have been her and Jordin. But if Blake wins I'll really know it's just a popularity game. Hmmmm...

I might have to place a couple of votes next week. :)

*scream!*

So Tom didn't get anything in the mail yesterday. He did, however, call both places. The first firm said that they had just hired two new people and they wouldn't be able to hire and train a third.... whatever that means (I just think they can't afford to hire Tom). So that one is a no go. The second firm said that they still hadn't been able to discuss and meet with the guy who would be Tom's supervisor. When Tom mentioned that he'd be in Indy on Saturday and could meet with the guy the Vice President said that might work. They'll get back to him today.

*sigh*

I so thought it was in the bag... That we'd be knowing what was happening so soon. Boy was I wrong. It would have made not testing so much easier. Now I don't know what to do. I mean even if I do take the test and pass, pass the written test/interview/background (which I know I would), and they offer me a job it'd still come down to what I'm going through right now. This stinks.

I am starting to think that I will take the test Saturday morning... but now I don't know if I'd pass. I ignorantly counted on Tom acing those interviews (which I think he did) and the companies not being so stupid. And I forget that, in the corporate world, even though they interview for positions that doesn't mean they're hiring. I'm just so used to interviewing for positions that I know need to be filled (because that's how it works in law enforcement). If he does get to meet with the guy who would be his boss I might not get to take the test - we're both supposed to be in Indy tomorrow night. Now I know that the reason we're going isn't as important as my career... but if he gets this job I'm taking the test for nothing.

When I left the office tonight everyone said "good luck" and one guy shook my hand... I suppose I should just do it. If anything, just to prove to myself that I can do it if I put my mind to it.

If they only knew....

I feel so sick to my stomach right now... I'm not quite sure how much longer I can take this.

We have yet to hear from any of the places Tom interviewed with last week. And I have yet to tell my bosses that I am not testing on Saturday. I was hoping to know if we were moving by now... and I haven't told anyone at work that we're going to leave. (I figured that it'd be best to wait until we knew for sure)

So naturally, everyone here keeps asking me if I'm ready for the test. "Are you gonna pass?" "Are you excited? Nervous?" "Good luck Saturday!" And a little while ago my supervisor said to his daughter, "she shows no indication that she's leaving - get used to her being a Cubs fan." Oh this is driving me crazy!!!

I read Tom's horoscope early this morning:

There could be some surprising changes happening for you today, T. You could attract someone's interest, in either the romantic or the professional realm. Several doors could open up for you, one after the other and all at once. You might have to decide quickly about which offer to accept. Think about your long-term goals and pick the best situation to help you to achieve them.

Sounds great, right???!!! I hope that he has some letters in the mail today so I can finally tell my bosses that we're leaving. I just feel like I'm deceiving them... and it just makes me want to puke.

Niiiiiiice

Today has been such a pretty day outside - the sky is clear, the wind is minimal, the temperature is just right... It's too bad that I'm not able to enjoy it. Oh well, such is the life of someone who works in law enforcement.

I cannot wait to be able to be outside driving a squad car and enjoying the weather while working. It'll be such an amazing feeling. That is what bothers me the most about moving - the fact that I'm THIS close to becoming a police officer. It just kinda stinks that I might be giving that up (for now).

Almost every single one of my co-workers has been asking me if I'm ready for the physical test coming up. All I say is that "I'm working on it," or "I'm getting there." It's getting harder every day to not tell them that we might be close to moving and that I won't be testing. I just feel bad - like I'm deceiving them or something. The Chief is constantly telling me how good of a job I do dispatching and then he and my supervisor keep telling me that there's a new gun waiting for me and I'll get my own squad car soon... But I can't say anything. It stinks!

Moving to Indianapolis will be a very good thing for us. We hate Springfield, really aren't happy with our current jobs and although we'll miss our family and friends here, we know we need to get out. There is a whole new life for us in Indy and we're anxious to get there, no matter our reservations.

Welcome!

Thanks to my dear friend Lindsay for showing me this cool website! I think I am going to take time to post my thoughts/feelings here once in a while... might be good for my sanity! Plus, it will help you all to know how things are going for me.

Incase you're wondering about the MCL Cafe' title - Tom and I have a joke that since my married initials will be MCL, I should work at the MCL Cafeteria restaurant. Silly, I know. But it works. ;)

Lots going on right now... I feel like I have two lives. One part of me is here in central Illinois but the other is getting ready for a potentially big move out of state. It's hard to prepare for a new job here while constantly wondering if I'll be moving within a few months. It's also hard to plan the wedding when I am not quite sure where we'll be come October.

But I FIRMLY believe that everything happens for a reason - if we're to move and start our life together in a new place, then so be it. It'll all work out in the end. :)