holy crap-o-lah

I. am. married. MARRIED!!!!! I have a husband and a new life ahead of me - it is so VERY amazing. I am still in shock but am so very excited!!!

Yesterday was the most PERFECT day... and being surrounded by the people who mean the most to us made it that much better. We couldn't have asked for anything more. Everything was just perfect, perfect, perfect.

fall

Odie and I went for a walk tonight, and when we got to the end of our street I smelled it: FALL!!!

Fall has GOT to be my most favorite season. I love the smells, sights, and sounds of these next few months. The faint scent of burning leaves, the changing of the leaves, and the crunch of said leaves, twigs, etc... Apple cider, bon fires with friends, cool weather, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and this year, my wedding!

Oh how I love this time of year. It makes me so very happy!!!

gosh

I keep forgetting that I have one of these blog thingies. I suppose I should write more often if I'm going to keep it... But anywho

Once again, there has been lots going on. I've had my first and second bridal showers already. They were SO incredibly wonderful!!! My future mother-in-law threw one for me about 2 weeks ago and my mom & grandma gave me one yesterday. We received so many wonderful presents!!! The best part about the showers though was knowing that people care and love me. Well, that and knowing that I am welcomed into Tom's family. It's such a nice feeling!

The wedding is about one month and 3 days away... I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Time has gone by soooooo fast! Lots to do, lots to do!

We are supposed to go to the DR next week to get our next sonogram but I've been having some issues this past week so I'm going to try to get in today. I hope everything's ok!!!

time for an update

Lots going on around these here parts lately.

With the wedding being less than 2 months away the craziness has started. We're getting lots of RSVPs back and finishing up some last minute things. Mal and Angela's bridesmaid dresses came in today and Tom and I are ordering our wedding rings tonight. Whoo hoo!!! Sunday is my first of two bridal showers... should be fun!

Had another DR's appointment on Monday. We got to hear the heartbeat again and next month we might get to see if the baby is a boy or girl! I hope the little cashew cooperates with the ultrasound tech. :)

Tom and I are looking at a house tonight, too. It's such a huge house... I really hope we can get it!!! It'd be great to have friends over!!!

blah

I don't feel like doing much today... and of course, today is the day that I need to get a lot done.

Gotta clean the kitchen, do laundry, go shopping, go find some maternity khaki capris, go to the bank, and I have a WIU Alumni thing at the fair at 5. I suppose I can get all of this done before then but I just don't want to do anything but sleep or hang around the house all day.

This weekend was kinda of crazy busy. I worked Saturday, came home, rushed to get ready to go to Tom's mom's house - we were there for maybe 2 hours when some drama unfolded. So we left at 10 and got home sometime after midnight.

Yesterday we were up early to go to church and then were at mom's all day. We were able to be at home for a little while before meeting up with Mike and Tracy to see the new Bourne movie. It was REALLY good but I got sick in the middle of it and felt like C R A P the rest of the night. When we got home I went straight to bed. I guess I'm still feeling like crap hence not wanting to do anything right now.

Lots of unneccesary drama going on lately... and at the WORST possible time, too. Tom and I are really not wanting this 2 months before the wedding. And of course, the drama is with people who mean a lot to us and are a part of our wedding. *sigh*

On a good note - we received 16 RSVPs last week. So VERY excited about that! I've always been... oh I don't know, paranoid maybe?... that no one would come to my wedding. That stems from childhood, I know, but unfortunately has carried over into adulthood. So I'm glad to see that atleast 30 some people will be there so far! ;)

Today is the 3 month mark... Only 6 more to go until Baby Leahy is here!!!!

stupid reality TV

This morning at 4am I got bored while at work. So for the first time I watched "Animal Cops: Houston" on Animal Planet. Holy flippin' crap. The tears were a'flowin. I started to feel so udderly bad for those poor animals... malnurished dogs, a horse attacked by another horse, an abandoned mommy dog and her pups... I couldn't stop crying!!! Stupid pregnancy.

When I got home from work Odie was there to greet me at the door as usual. He got the BIGGEST hug...

I do NOT understand how people can be so cruel to animals. What is the point?

on a much brighter note...

Here is my baby!!!

*sigh*

It's pretty sad when the only thing stressing you out about your wedding is one of your bridesmaids.

Quite ridiculous if you ask me.

like crap.

That's how I'm feeling today. I have had SO much bad for me food this week... I feel like a big tub of lard!!!

I was gone Wednesday-Friday last week visiting my dear friend Gina and her family. We always ate out. Then when I got home, our stove was broken. That wasn't able to be replaced until yesterday. Saturday I ate something that didn't agree with me and I puked for the first time since being pregnant. It sucked. I stayed home from work.

Didn't realize that food could make you feel so lousy. I'm not craving health food by any means but I know I need to eat it. So now that we have an stove I am going to attempt to make chicken salad and broccoli cheese soup. Should be interesting.

And the due date is....

Our appointment this morning went rather well, I must say.

I was a little sad at first because the DR couldn't hear the heartbeat with the tool he was using. But thankfully he got me in with the sonogram tech and not only could we hear the heart beat, we could see the baby, too!!! The little thing looks like and is about the size of a cashew. So that's what we're calling it. "Our little cashew" haha. Next time it'll probably be the size of an orange... so then we'll call it "our little orange" and so on and so forth. That is, until we find out what the sex is.

The heart beat was so very strong and healthy... and amazing!!! When we actually got to see the little thing it moved around a lot! At first it was just the legs... but then it moved it arms and gave us a little wave.

It was the most perfect, scary, and unbelievable thing I have ever been a part of. And it's only going to get better!!!

oh! the due date is February 25, 2008 !!!

Today's the day!!!!

We get to see our baby for the first time and hear its little heart beat!!! So VERY exciting!!! I'm nervous, anxious, scared, excited... everything a future mom feels, I'm sure.

HOLY CRAP!!! I'm going to be a MOM!!!!

That's still just a bit hard to believe.

Work.

I really am not liking my job right now. Not sure if it's because of the hours I work or the fact that I do not really do anything. All I know is that I never look forward to going in.

My brain cells are almost non-existant. I do not apply myself to do anything. Now most people would be thankful to have a job where you don't really have to do anything. But I cannot stand it! I have to be moving around, thinking, actually working - you know, using the degree that I paid so much for and spent so much time getting. It's starting to become a waste, really.

One positive to this job is that I have great insurance. And with the baby coming, it's only going to help. And the job is nice that it's not physically demanding so I don't have to worry about losing the baby. But still. I need something more.

After the little one has arrived I plan on working my ASS off to get back into shape. I'd really like to become a police officer. That is, afterall, what I've been working so hard to be.

cravings

So you're supposed to be eating healthy food when you're pregnant... I think I'm breaking the rules. All I've wanted lately is ice cream.

I haven't been eating very much fruit... and hardly any vegetables - just because they make me want to vomit. ESPECIALLY tomatoes!!! *puke*

Anywho - I just ate all of my First Wok. It was so VERY yummy! But now I think I'm going to get sick. :(

Note to self: there is such a thing as too much of a good thing

it has been a while

Lots going on since I last posted.

Must say that I will not be losing weight like I had planned. I've actually gained some since finding out that we're pregnant. How much, I'm not sure. Probably more than I should. But hopefully the DR won't yell at me too much when we see him next week.

The baby is due sometime around Valentine's Day, I think. Kind of exciting! We'd really like for him/her to be born on the 19th - Tom's birthday. Since his dad died on his birthday this year, having a baby the same day next year will hopefully take some of the sadness away.

Might still be moving to Indy... Tom had another interview last week. The company REALLY likes him but they wouldn't be able to pay him as much as he's making now. We've got some big decisions to make.

Wedding plans are coming along... I think we're doing pretty good. I've picked out a new dress and am busy getting invitations ready. Just need to figure out some of the little things. Oh and talk with the Father to make sure that we can still get married in the church. haha That's kind of important.

Really jonesin' for some First Wok today. Might make a special trip to Lincoln to get some! Mmmmm yummmy!!!!

what's goin on

Not much has been happening around here lately... Or atleast, nothing too exciting since the last time I wrote.

Ordered our wedding invitations last week - they should be in the first week of June. They're oh-so-cute!!! I can't wait to send them out!!!

Lindsay and I have once again vowed to help each other with each other's weight loss goals. We may be a few thousand miles apart but gosh darnit, we'll do it somehow!!! I found that 3 fat chicks website and made my own tracker (because copying is the best form of flattery)... I will be updating it as much as I can. I started doing Weight Watchers on my own this past Monday. I'm down 5 pounds already! Whoo hoo!! I'd like to be down another 25 by October. Here's to hoping!!!

We're going to St. Louis for a Cardinals game tomorrow... It's Tom's birthday present from me. We're going with Mike & Tracy. All three of them are Cardinal fans... I'm going to root for whoever they're playing. haha Cardinals better lose!!! :) Oh and I'm supposed to go to Lincoln and meet with my 'little sister' Ashley. She's getting married in November and I'm supposed to help her plan it out. Hoping to meet with a florist in Lincoln, too.

Saturday we're going to Indianapolis again... Tom has another interview with a third firm. He talked with the head honcho guy today for a little while. Turns out Tom is 'exactly what they're looking for.' They're going to pay him $300 just to come over and interview! So that's exciting. We're also going to stop by our friends' place for a cookout. That will be nice.

I think Sunday we're not doing anything... but I have to work that night at 10pm. Monday is Mike & Tracy's newest son Bret's baptism in Pana. We won't get home until 2 or 3... and I have to work again that night at 10. That'll suck. *sigh* Oh well. It'll be well worth it. Especially if we end up being the Godparents! :) That would TOTALLY rock our world!!!!

well...

Our weekend was good... Long, but good.

I ended up not taking the test Saturday morning. Yeah, I know... Go ahead and yell. It was a very hard decision to make but it's for the best. Tom was able to make an appointment to meet with the guy that could possibly be his next boss so I figured that that was more important.

We got up at 5am Saturday and made our way to Indy. At 830, when the test was starting, I was crying while driving into town. I was just thinking about how much I had disappointed my Chief and Sergeant and about how I had given up my dream to help Tom reach his. It is what I wanted to do, don't get me wrong. But that doesn't mean that I couldn't be just a little sad about it.

Tom's meeting with the boss-man went well. We'll hopefully find something out the last week of May or so. *sigh* It just stinks that that company has just hired two new people as well... I think that Tom is realizing that looking for a job at graduation time is not a good idea. haha But they really like him - they just have to have room for him. Wish him luck! And maybe say a few too many prayers :)

We had a fun time running around and visiting friends in Indy Saturday night. Maria's surprise party went off without a hitch - she was TOTALLY surprised. It was awesome. ;)

Sunday was another busy day... Up early to drive to Tom's mom's house. We took food to cookout on the grill. It was nice. I found out that she is planning a bridal shower for me for her side of the family - I thought that was super nice. :)

After spending time in Chatsworth we made our way to Lincoln to see my mom. We took her out to First Wok... and my grandparents came unexpectly. But it was nice to see them since I thought they were gone already. We visited with mom for a while after dinner and then came home. It was a loooooooong weekend.

I'm not feeling to well tonight... Very dizzy, my face/body is really warm, I'm really tired, my stomach feels funny, and I keep thinking that I'm going to puke. I haven't had much to eat in the last two days, so that might be it. Lets hope I feel better soon. I do NOT like being sick.

Now I usually do not comment on American Idol very often... but I must say that I was VERY disappointed that Melinda was voted off. It should have been her and Jordin. But if Blake wins I'll really know it's just a popularity game. Hmmmm...

I might have to place a couple of votes next week. :)

*scream!*

So Tom didn't get anything in the mail yesterday. He did, however, call both places. The first firm said that they had just hired two new people and they wouldn't be able to hire and train a third.... whatever that means (I just think they can't afford to hire Tom). So that one is a no go. The second firm said that they still hadn't been able to discuss and meet with the guy who would be Tom's supervisor. When Tom mentioned that he'd be in Indy on Saturday and could meet with the guy the Vice President said that might work. They'll get back to him today.

*sigh*

I so thought it was in the bag... That we'd be knowing what was happening so soon. Boy was I wrong. It would have made not testing so much easier. Now I don't know what to do. I mean even if I do take the test and pass, pass the written test/interview/background (which I know I would), and they offer me a job it'd still come down to what I'm going through right now. This stinks.

I am starting to think that I will take the test Saturday morning... but now I don't know if I'd pass. I ignorantly counted on Tom acing those interviews (which I think he did) and the companies not being so stupid. And I forget that, in the corporate world, even though they interview for positions that doesn't mean they're hiring. I'm just so used to interviewing for positions that I know need to be filled (because that's how it works in law enforcement). If he does get to meet with the guy who would be his boss I might not get to take the test - we're both supposed to be in Indy tomorrow night. Now I know that the reason we're going isn't as important as my career... but if he gets this job I'm taking the test for nothing.

When I left the office tonight everyone said "good luck" and one guy shook my hand... I suppose I should just do it. If anything, just to prove to myself that I can do it if I put my mind to it.

If they only knew....

I feel so sick to my stomach right now... I'm not quite sure how much longer I can take this.

We have yet to hear from any of the places Tom interviewed with last week. And I have yet to tell my bosses that I am not testing on Saturday. I was hoping to know if we were moving by now... and I haven't told anyone at work that we're going to leave. (I figured that it'd be best to wait until we knew for sure)

So naturally, everyone here keeps asking me if I'm ready for the test. "Are you gonna pass?" "Are you excited? Nervous?" "Good luck Saturday!" And a little while ago my supervisor said to his daughter, "she shows no indication that she's leaving - get used to her being a Cubs fan." Oh this is driving me crazy!!!

I read Tom's horoscope early this morning:

There could be some surprising changes happening for you today, T. You could attract someone's interest, in either the romantic or the professional realm. Several doors could open up for you, one after the other and all at once. You might have to decide quickly about which offer to accept. Think about your long-term goals and pick the best situation to help you to achieve them.

Sounds great, right???!!! I hope that he has some letters in the mail today so I can finally tell my bosses that we're leaving. I just feel like I'm deceiving them... and it just makes me want to puke.

Niiiiiiice

Today has been such a pretty day outside - the sky is clear, the wind is minimal, the temperature is just right... It's too bad that I'm not able to enjoy it. Oh well, such is the life of someone who works in law enforcement.

I cannot wait to be able to be outside driving a squad car and enjoying the weather while working. It'll be such an amazing feeling. That is what bothers me the most about moving - the fact that I'm THIS close to becoming a police officer. It just kinda stinks that I might be giving that up (for now).

Almost every single one of my co-workers has been asking me if I'm ready for the physical test coming up. All I say is that "I'm working on it," or "I'm getting there." It's getting harder every day to not tell them that we might be close to moving and that I won't be testing. I just feel bad - like I'm deceiving them or something. The Chief is constantly telling me how good of a job I do dispatching and then he and my supervisor keep telling me that there's a new gun waiting for me and I'll get my own squad car soon... But I can't say anything. It stinks!

Moving to Indianapolis will be a very good thing for us. We hate Springfield, really aren't happy with our current jobs and although we'll miss our family and friends here, we know we need to get out. There is a whole new life for us in Indy and we're anxious to get there, no matter our reservations.

Welcome!

Thanks to my dear friend Lindsay for showing me this cool website! I think I am going to take time to post my thoughts/feelings here once in a while... might be good for my sanity! Plus, it will help you all to know how things are going for me.

Incase you're wondering about the MCL Cafe' title - Tom and I have a joke that since my married initials will be MCL, I should work at the MCL Cafeteria restaurant. Silly, I know. But it works. ;)

Lots going on right now... I feel like I have two lives. One part of me is here in central Illinois but the other is getting ready for a potentially big move out of state. It's hard to prepare for a new job here while constantly wondering if I'll be moving within a few months. It's also hard to plan the wedding when I am not quite sure where we'll be come October.

But I FIRMLY believe that everything happens for a reason - if we're to move and start our life together in a new place, then so be it. It'll all work out in the end. :)